If I could remember
by SheerSunshine
Summary: What if Derek Hale had a mate but it was complicated?
1. Chapter 1

Fandom: Teen Wolf Pairings: Derek Hale x OC

If I could remember

Derek tells me it's okay. That if it's not important, to ignore it. All that I need to worry about is the full moon and even then, he would handle that. Locking me up by a pole and insulting me all day, with my height and my mannerisms of being oh so naive. As if he got the whole Alpha role down pack, all his family is gone and he talks to a newbie werewolf, and his super out there best friend. I don't know about Lydia, she has to being something. Beacon Hills is all access, battery bad of supernatural. Anything could be everything here. When he tells me not to think about it, I can't help but think about it.

There had to be documents about my parents, stories about their transformation into a werewolf. How I stayed in Mexico half naked, for six years and no memory of how I gotten bitten and what the bite could do to me. Only when I came here, Derek was the only thing that felt right. Don't get it twisted it's not some lovesick, unrequited crap. He's not into me and I don't think I would even want myself to be into him. Too familiar. Close. Sure, I see the perks of having a good looking wanna be Alpha around. Derek Hale is entirely incapable of making me hot and bothered.

His house made love to American Horror Story, his clothes is in love with Hot topic, and he makes brooding look like a career.  
"Your not left footed, so don't pretend like you are," Derek says, hitting my knee and I panicked and got nipped on the neck, only seeing blood. Right. Its my hair. I huffed it away and limped a distance away, staring him over. Yeah, not interesting enough to like.

I rub out injury and duck under his arm and punch his side with my fist, and he twisted around me and gripped my arm around my shoulder. I scowl in a grimace. Okay maybe a little bit. His mush was paralyzing my senses and making me double check my comebacks, none of them made any sizzle. I stare into nothing, cold water at my throat and humming in my ears and being carried. Where did I go? Who took me? I subconsiously step out of his hold and kicked his shin, growling in his face as my claws neared his heart. HIs blue green eyes blugged at me and I could swear he swallowed. Did he think I would kill him? That I was a killer?

I clear my throat and slap at his face and get off of him, holding at my hand.  
"You called me kid when first met, I would have killed you a long time ago." 


	2. Chapter 2

Derek tells me that the vet could help me with my memories. The one that knows a lot about supernaturals and stuff, I m not too sure I would force someone to see what goes on inside of my head. Especially when I have no clue, what could be inside of my own head. A dangerous thing to not know what I am capable of.

The training section was a bust. Only ended up making the brooding giant concerned about me, or how concerned Derek can be. He had to handle Cora, I couldn t subject him to feel the need to care about me. I stare in the mirror, the Doc touching my back lightly, looking closely at my face in the reflection. The sympathy smile, when he wasn t here. Derek sent Stiles.

Stiles could make jokes all he wanted and oh he did.

What s you guys thing?

What?

He didn t imprint on you, has this hold over you where you can t make any clear decisions

I chose freely with my own head and heart, to nearly kill myself. Derek didn t have a hold of it. If he did, I would kill him. If he was my mate, I would run. Be gone. He s too brooding, I say, tapping his chest and sliding down the table into the ice and immediately shivering.

Doc and Stiles both touch either side of my shoulder and look into my eyes.

Maschoist?

Oh Stiles, you wouldn t even know my kink. I ll be fine. You two are here and I have an anchor, I fingered my necklace and bit my lip, hearing an intense heartbeat. A familiar one. Derek?

Would he really stop me from learning about what happened to me? Why the orphanage took me in? If I could remember. 


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly my vision materialized, creating an image of a trail of blood, unable to turn back, I walk forward. I see a man at the door, his eyes watered and holding the remains of a woman s bodies parts, her finger pointed at a brown eyed boy and girl, the boy stepped in front of the girl. Was that me? Is he my brother? The girl ran down the steps and slammed the door.

I was in dusty attic with a girl, row of intruments of every time surrounding her, never touched or taken care of and then so much space, in the corner, I could smell the rotting of animal corpses and the girl screamed. I cover my ears, blinking rapidly, covering an arm over my head to protect myself from the sun, I then cover my mouth at the sight around me. Victims...creatures that appeared different in supernatural scope, then a man holding Lydia s body, his skin on fire and then I found myself bleeding inside and dropped down.

The next image had guards and a white room, I couldn t see the rest, because I felt someone grip me forward and out, I gasp opening my eyes and coughing, light green eyes and automatic scowl written all over his face, he was majorly pissed, his hands were warm though. Really warm, did he run here? The Doc handed Stiles a towel and Derek snatched it aside, roughing Stiles up to the wall and I immediately stop it, getting in between and shoving him off.

What the hell is your problem? I was fine!, I say still registering what that vision could mean for me and how the hell he knew I would be here? Scott. I turn on Stiles and punch him in the stomach, he grunts and falls to his knees, the Doc steps forward, I bare my fangs at him and he stammers, I like you, I really do, but unless you want to be first. Back off.

The Doc clears his throat.

I have paperwork to fill out, Stiles once you recover come help me, I ruffle my hair and turn to Derek, who was still had a scowl on his face, did he not want me to remember how I got turned? Why did he make Stiles call Scott? When clearly he hated the both of them, called them little children even, what did that make her? For wanting to know a little about herself.

You don t need to know that Anastasia, you could have killed yourself

And wouldn t you be so lucky to finally get me out of your hair? Knowing how I got turned isn t going to hurt you, it s about me Derek and I deserve to know, I cross my arms and he stares me over and sighs, turns his back to me. The tension was still there, did I make him worry that much? With Cora around now, that was a definite yes, he always took care of me and forgot about himself, I didn t like that.

I reach my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back and he sighed.

I thought I lost you, don t ever cause me pain like that

What was that?

I said I ll kill you myself if you ever do that again, kid, I scoff, hitting his stomach and held him tighter, I had a feeling I knew what he meant. The question still stands...why does he not want me to remember? If I could 


	4. Chapter 4

Derek was brooding, nothing new there. Which means, I couldn t go off on my own and research, I would ask Lydia, but she would throw her smarts in my face and the last thing I need right now, is a Banshee smarting me right now. I peer through the glass window and hide myself as he came out of the office, shoulders less tense. Meaning I got about four minutes before he came back, I block my foot from the door shutting and easily slip in and immediately go to the filing cabinets.

If I had come here when I was kid and I did have a sibling or friend, wouldn t they be on record here too? I fumble with the lock and it pops open, I look behind me and read through the tags of names and quickly found mine, grinning to myself and snapped screenshots of it and placed everything back, walking away from the cabinets, excitingly reading through the pictures.

Well that was strange, a Hale registered as my guardian, I move my thumb and nearly drop my phone, Peter was on my contact list. Derek s uncle and that was seven years ago, the recent call was late December...when I was turned by Derek. The dates didn t match up, I growl under my breath and straighten myself when Sheriff Stilinski came in, he eyed me carefully.

Are you alright there, Anastasia? Derek is waiting outside for you, I said that you were in the bathroom, He began and crossed his arms, tapping the phone screen, Figured you might won t to explain before I press charges.

Your son does more than this, a werewolf girl can t search for her missing history without being called a criminal, you don t get what it feels like to be the only one that doesn t know something, I urgently told him, looking up at him and he sighed finally.

I ll have one of my guys contact you, secrety of course. I know you don t want Derek involved, I couldn t help myself then and hugged him around the waist, he froze for a second, heart skipping and then he caressed my hair lightly, I glance around noticing Derek coming back in the station, an annoyed face on him. I patted the Shieff shoulder and immediately werewolf speeded toward Derek s car.

Why did you come back for?!, I called and he sharply turned to me and he peered at me closely and sighed, gripping his car keys, an insult or curse on his tongue and he rolled his eyes, coming closer to me. I subconsciously back up, his green eyes were a much different tint than usual. I swallowed and kept his gaze.

I should be the one looming over here, he kept the fact that he knew about me or at least Peter does and he refuses to tell me about, what happened? What made him decide to keep that from me? What made him think he could make any decisions for me? I can handle myself pretty easily and I survived werewolf life, learning about my life before that, wouldn t drastically changing me.

Have you given up with this little running and dodging me? I need you to watch Cora for me, I would take her, but I have plans tonight and I need to know that you ll be there, He gently spoke, rough hand lightly touching my cheekbone, I have no clue what he is thinking yet again, Anna?.

Not going anywhere, Derek. She s family to you and I know how much you care about that, I move from him and get in the car, slamming the door shut and checking the address at my foot. Yeah, right.

if I 


	5. Chapter 5

Cora was a little problem, she was too much like her brother, she dodged questions like a volleyball player and I needed to know, I wasn t asking any favors or tricky questions. Just when Peter was coming home, she wanted to know why and I hesitated before telling her a half-truth.

You think you have a brother? Wouldn t Derek have told you? Family is important to him, he wouldn t hide that even if he wanted to, Shows how much you know? He tells me nothing, as if I was going to be immediately flake out and lose control, it depends entirely what Peter knows about my upbringing and if my brother was still alive...I never pegged Peter to let anyone live that could boost up his knowledge.

I shrug and head into the kitchen, head hanging low until I heard a male grunt, back muscles for days and a nice butt, yeah that was Peter. Once he turned and saw me, he nearly attacked me, I held my ground. He laughed shortly and attempted to walk around me, I block his path. I know a little to nothing about this guy, only that he was beyond on the evil side and was Derek s Uncle, though they didn t seem close.

I don t have time for fetch kitten, I just got in and I am seriously tired, Kitten? I am a wolf, I may be small, but I am no kitten. I guess it was time for the civil route, I look down and look back up, eyes soulful and needy, he started shaking his head and I take his hand, this was the nicer version, of tell me you killer and madman, I must know.

Please Peter, I tried asking Derek, but he always ignores me. I am a simple rogue with no other options, I tried going to Stiles and Lydia, but she shows me genius stuff. I barely finished high school, don t make me figure it out on my own, I whine, coming closer to him, the back door slammed open and we both snapped our heads, to see Derek covered in blood and watching us. Damn wolf hearing.

I would kitten, but I only signed because I was a witness to your parents death and I owed them. He was the one that was actually there, Derek glared at him, Glare all you want, you have to tell her the truth, whether it upsets you or not. It s her life. He brushes past him, going into the living room with Cora, who busied herself with slamming the television. Wow cavewoman much.

Derek spared me a glance and moved towards me, I brace myself for more insults or more its-for-your-own-good speeches. He simply did none of those and lightly moved me aside, bringing down a plastic gray notebook, bigger than my hands, he opened it to reveal the same boy I saw in my vision and the bear. Cordelia Bracken, named change to...Anastasia Lee. My original name was the same name of the owners of the manor, we always walk passed.

I pause and think over my thoughts. Peter said that Derek was there the day my parents passed, so that would mean he was the little boy and that bear belonged to him. It says in the news letter, that the family that the family functioned toys for the homeless and that bear was their symbol. I could have been a toy maker daughter.

Why are you showing me this? Why do you have this?! How could you lie to me? You promised that you would never intentionally hurt me! You said that I was safe!, Tears burned down my cheeks, I didn t care about his torn expression or his hurt eyes, how does he think I feel? For the longest time, I thought I had nothing and now he made sure that I never would.

Ana, please. I was a kid! I just turned and I didn t know what I was capable of, I was up all night and I was so hungry-

This isn t some red hood meets the wolf! You turned me into a wolf, you honestly think I care that you freaking ate my parents, you murdered them! Then you brought me up as a consolation prize, I shove him and storm off, he catches up to me and I growl, breaking the door down as I ran crawling to the ground and shifting.

I REMEMBER. ENOUGH.

A/N: so ignore the parts where Cora and Peter are there, its a bit of a problem where I stay consistant. 


	6. Chapter 6

Scott at least knew the priciple of leaving a girl alone when she was upset, he didn t ask any questions or turned me away. His Mom simply made coco and gave me a warm blanket when she saw that I was half-naked and barefoot, running around in the dark and unclothed, was pretty much the only way I was going to get Derek off my back. He lied to me! In my face! For months about how he knew me and how I was brought up, he brought my parents down in those mines and he slaughtered them, or at least tried to, Peter was there to stop him.

Derek claims that he was a kid and didn t know what he was capable of, he was a Hale, they were capable of much more than people give them credit for. Nearly slaughtering a subconscious girl s parents, then biting said girl and making her a she-wolf is hardly a suitable apology. And then he walks around like some annoyed and distant prick, as if I ruined his life.

I swallow the whole ice cream scoop down my throat, not caring that I would get a brain freeze, maybe these thoughts would get the hell out of my head, there was no way that I was going to apologize or come groveling to the asshole. Stiles came through the house and found me, grabbing me by the forearms, I was too lazy and didn t care to defend myself. Only death gripped the whip cream bottle. They needed my help to figure out what was happening with Lydia and her boyfriend, the guy had a major people issue thing going for him. I am dragged to the sidewalk and see Derek, I twist my body and head in the opposite direction, then Scott eyes glowed and I rolled my eyes, snatching his grip off. Wiping my mouth and cleaning myself up.

That was when I really saw him, yeah he made one fatal mistake and crossed for judgment and he will pay for it, but not with death. His skin was sweating and he looked close to death, his eyes drooped open and then back closed, I ran a hand through my raven hair and groaned, of course he would have to do something totally Derek like and in the process make me a confusing angry mess, I didn t know who I should be mad at.

I go to him, touching his cheeks, he was hot to the touch. I bit my lip and glance at both boys.

Anybody gonna tell me what happened to the asshole?

I thought you didn t care

Stiles, in a matter of four seconds while humming a delightful tune, I can rip Scott and your heart out with a smile on my face. He s my Alpha and I sort of am something to him, so I would like to know what happened, I said raising my voice a little higher, feeling Derek resting his body against me, I scowl. I just freaking showered. I am so gonna kill him, I think this over in my head and help...toss him inside the beat up truck.

Adorable, I don t know. He showed up to my school, looking like that, I listen and hiss back when I touch the wound on his body, a hunter s bullet? Kate Argent. Of course. That crazy bitch would love to have his head, if it was given to her as a birthday present and then would probably make out with that present. Why didn t he tell me that he was facing her?

Yeah I was angry and other adjectives for being pissed, but him dying doesn t help me.

I mention fo ther guys to go to the vet doctor, he probably can help.

I thought...you...hate me, His eyes met mine as he reached for my hand, I wipe at his forehead and give him a soft smile. Bet your ass I do, but I would be number suspect if you were found dead.

should it matter? 


	7. Chapter 7

Derek was a dumbass, that thought he could do everything on his own and put himself at risk, thinking that no one would care. I probably would if you know he hadn t been the reason, I am not normal. I corrected myself accordlingly, every time he tried to rest his head on me, I shoved his head back where it was, no way was I going to be the one to cave first.

He was being super rude to Stiles, when we arrived at the Doc s shop and guided him inside, well they guided him inside and I waded back, he told them to stop begrudgely and glanced over at me. His wolfie eyes had that cute little wounded dip. I swallowed and walked to open the door for them, hands in my jeans and sweat pouring from more pours as I shut and locked the door, bringing down the blinds.

Rolling up my sleeves and looking through the cabinets, I was a werewolf myself and couldn t touch the damn bullet, yet Stiles could and if he wouldn t banter with Derek when he was being a prissy bitch and injured, this would make it much easier to hate him.

I touched his shoulder and wiped more sweat from his face, his hand gripped my waist as he convulsed against, I wince and blow hair from my face. That surprised me, his eyes stared me down and I am left without a comeback, somehow Scott carefully picked up the bullet that he spit out? That was new and no wonder he was in so much pain, he fell back against me and when he tried to close his eyes.

I slapped him awake, he softly growled, holding his eyes and stepping back from me.

Anastasia, he just recovered-

I don t give a damn, you went after Kate! Without back up and demanded someone to help you? Why didn t you come to me? How could you not come to me? I am always left in the dark and waiting for answers, am I not that much of importance , I didn t care of Scott and Stiles were there, he loomed over me and grabbed the jacket from the table, his eyes were earnest, meaning he would do it again.

He walked towards the door and used his strength to unlock it, I let him. I shudder and zip up my jacket, going to Scott. Seems like I need you to play back up kid, he won t listen to feeling, so maybe a fist will do some justice.

Just as I thought, Derek was beginning to be a damsel in distress, I growled and knocked Kate s head into the heater, moving my hair back and glancing at Allison, who helped me take him down, he tried attacking her, but I shoved him and pushed her to go. He wasn t going to throw his weight around me anymore, I move from his strike and kick his ankle, he went down and I twisted my body back in a face plant. He coughed and I crouched down and grab his face.

I could kill you...I had it handled

Unless you two were really into that BDSM sure, but from the looks of it, she was enjoying it more than you were, I wipe the blood from my lip and hold my shoulder, hair resting near his shoulder, his hand reached up and he caressed my cheek and shut his eyes, You should know I would never hurt you purposefully, I saved you remember? I was making up for what I did, I saw you near death with your face and soft voice calling for help, who can leave that behind?.

So that s what he did, I groaned as I stood and helped him off of the sexy dangerous zone, torture porn. Knowing good and well, if I left him go again, he would try to kill himself again.

They ll see me. 


	8. Chapter 8

I think I deserve some kind of sleep, right? Wrong? Derek was trying really hard, when the whole, wanting to get on my good side, all my sides are good. I know sound cocky, better cocky than a total liar. I scanned the breakfast tray and took the muffin and yogurt, I always ate small and he always ate my share. That s how well we worked together, I run a hand through my hair and sighed through my nose and sat up and he sat beside my legs. I raise my head and tilt my head at me.

What?

You look really hot when you wake up in the morning, you know that right?

Can t see how? The floor creaked so much with your hovering and pacing, I thought the Oz was coming, I said with a mouth full of yogurt and crawled out the opposite way, making my bed and getting up. I didn t want to question what he wanted from me, because there were far too many things to worry about: Kate being back, the Argents, Scott not knowing how to control his wolfie tendacies, Derek going through his phrases, and now the Alpha. The guy that turned Scott, I guess he wants him dead now and Derek is going to need my help with that.

Ari, how would you feel if I found a couple of more members for our pack?, I sniffed my arm pits in my closet and pulled the sleeved shirt down and slipped on some jeans. A new pack? Would he also wolf out and kill their parents, turn them and make them breakfast as a peace offering? I rest my head against the cold knob as I searched for shoes, I heard footsteps coming closer and I fixed him with a look, he stopped. I didn t care who he brought in or who he took out, we were a package deal and he wasn t allowed to do whatever he wanted, because he was Alpha.

That s how he gets away with so many things, and did he call me Ari? He never called me Ari once? I dreaded that nickname and that isn t even my name anymore, I hardly could remember where my original name came from. Least I knew what happened in my past, I shuddered and wiped my eyes and buckled my shoes up as I walked around him and sighed.

It s your ball pin Derek, whatever you say goes, remember? Don t ask, don t get hurt. Anyway, what are we going to do about Scott? With the Alpha in the shadows, soon he ll figure out where Scott is and will attack, what do you want me to do for you?, I ask, crossing my arms around myself, shallow breathed and prickly, staring down at him, where he sat and he shrugged.

We ll help where we can, none of us dies is all I know. I need you to stay by my side, can you do that for me?, He said his eyes had been downcast the whole time, then his green eyes met mine and I was shaken, a tunnel flow of emotion riding off him in waves, I blink back tears and nod.

He knows me like no other and its not fair. 


	9. Chapter 9

I sat on the hood of Stiles truck and looked across the school s parking lot, it was early in the day and some students were coming out of the school, my eyes prick when I sense Stiles coming out and notice something strange, he s talking to Lydia, I mean their close, he s already pretty much got the whole enraptured by her look down, by a long run. If his sentences flowed correctly, they would have no problems, I watch Lydia walk off and she wave at me, I wave back.

Why are you on my car? Is this some mating ritual?Am I the new Derek?

Protection perhaps Stiles, relax, I ll ignore the other two questions, I jump down, running a hand through my hair and looking at him closely, folding my arms, You wouldn t form a lengthy conversation with Lydia, what makes you ll be so lucky with me. I don t ask that question, I simply get inside of the truck and shut the door, he stares for a millisecond and joins me, I smile to myself.

And Derek said I wouldn t be able to handle being around Stiles, he s a munchkin, I eat him with milk. Not to say I ever hunger for humans, I haven t had a hunger in a while. I begrudgly forgave the betrayer, he looked beaten down and lost, so I caved. It s what I do with him, I cave, nothing wrong with that. Is there? No, we were focusing on Scott, thankfully and not on us, I rather not. I was digesting what the us part meant.

Everyone assumed because I don t take shit from Derek, that means we re mates. He wouldn t know self-control and I have too much. Not a great pair...and I am thinking about it. Stiles moves away a little when I facepalm myself, we make our way to his house and he pauses at his front door.

Do I need to give you the behave approach?

It would be misdirected, but sure why not, give it a shot. Try and tell me to behave, I urge him, he swallows at how serious I am or if I am joking, I grab his keys, letting myself in, You make it extremly hard, to want to protect you. Like seriously.

I look around his home and whistle, he shuts the door behind him and I see the Sheriff come out and raise an eyebrow, I suppose it s not natural for Stiles to have girls over. I smile at him and walk up the stairs and wait for them to stop talking and enter Stiles room and looking at the papers he had hung up and saw a familiar picture, I move closer to it, taking it off and staring at it. It was my parents, when they were still alive, and then the date of their death. I stared at it and held it to my chest.

Never thought you were the nostaglic type, you okay?, I hear Stiles ask me, I sniff and look over at him, waving the picture at him, That was your parents, right? I found their case interesting, I didn t mean to put it up like that

Do you have any more? The pictures I mean, I want to collect them all, I was young when they died, when Derek killed them for blood. I want to keep them close, I say walking over to him, he shakes his head and suprises me, by hugging me. I let him and rest there, holding in my shriek, Least your more normal than him. I glare at Derek and he smiles softly at me, of course he had to come in, when people were talking about him. Or was because I was alone with Stiles? 


	10. Chapter 10

Waiting was beginning to be a problem for me, Derek was keeping my mind occupied with non-helpful ways of calming me down, bringing up what would happen if we didn't catch the Alpha.

If Allison's Dad found us before we could even catch it and finally be rid of it. I wanted to ignore him, wanted to hate him even more. But I kept remembering the whole mate thing Stiles brought up, and I wanted to punch him for it. Derek and I, Arianna Cole, aren't mates. Far from it, he hardly listens to me.

That doesn't make someone, somebody's mate. Not the way he stared at me when he thought I didn't notice him or how protective he can get, when I am not in his line of sight, more than an hour. He cares sure, only because over the guilt he feels that he was the one that lied and turned me.

"What exactly are you two doing near my truck?," Well Stiles. I can assure you, this is not the perfect make out spot nor did I see myself in any second, climbing the tall tree that is Derek Hale. We were being silent and hidden and sometimes, that means getting all cozy.

Meaning yes, I was sort of hovered over his lap and his hand was on my waist, purely out of awareness. I quieted my thoughts as I glanced behind Stiles and move towards him, pushing his face down and looking behind him. Why was Scott at least not coming with Allison? And the Alpha could at least stand to shave.

Derek's large hand had grabbed me hard and tossed me to Stiles, I couldn't react, because when I turned around, Derek was taking on the Alpha and the big dog, stabbed him in the stomach, he growled kicking it in the face and falling down. I screamed and tried to go to him, Stiles held me back.

"Stiles! He needs me!"

"I'll take care of him, go help Scott, Arianna!," His hands forced my face to look at his and I swallowed, right. Even with that intense impact, Derek would survive. He had been through worse. I nodded and he let me go, I jumped over Derek and ran into the school, after Scott and the Alpha.

Thankfully, years of not knowing who I am, ergo really am, allowed me to fully focus on other interesting notions in life. More so, like how exactly I can be this quiet. Scott was luring the Alpha, as I on the other hand, stayed in the shadows. He looked like he could handle himself.

Then he started breathing hard and lost his balance, the Alpha's hand went up and I jumped up, my elbow meeting his head and we crashed into the lockers, I crawled on all floors and the thing, slammed its fist into my ankle and I howled, as Scott yanked my arm forward and out of the way.

The kid finally did something, I was pretty dizzy so I really couldn't tell, my jet black hair molding to my damp cheeks and I smelled a freaking disturbing stinch and Scott bent down to pick me up, bridal style. Even when I kick ass I am still a damnsel.

I was safely outside and Derek was nowhere to be found, Stiles came over to us and hugged us both. Surviving that, deserved more than a handsy hug. 


	11. Chapter 11

Unfortunately, Derek was fine and was already moving around and doing things that would otherwise, piss me off. He didn t care about my opinion on his unhealthy life choices, choices that resulted him getting stabbed and almost dying, if I hadn t knocked him out. We wouldn t have made it to Scott s Mom, she treated his minor issues and didn t question why he was hurt in the first place.

I came to Scott s room afterwards, without Derek s knowledge, he was struggling over the whole Allison thing, they were together apparently. I winced carefully, sitting on his desk. And not holding back on what I had to say.

Silly teenage boy, your pretty killing princess will come back soon, He gives me a sharp look and I shrug. He can ignore my advice all he wanted, Derek felt some kind of responsibility for this guy. Did I know why? No, he never tells me anything important, when Scott tried to reply, his door opened and the devil came inside. I said his name enough times in this chapter, for all of you to know who the hell I am talking about, its Derek. Now that s settled, we can move along.

He was the Alpha type, to demand another wolf he watches over, to get the hell out. When it was his house and his room, thankfully said werewolf got the point and nodded, leaving the room. I wonder where this conversation was going to go, the last resulted in me several shades of disappointment and him, again risking his life because he could. I folded my arms as he shut the door and eyed me.

How are you?

You hardly came here, about my health, we re werewolves Dare, we survive, I said nonchantaly and rolled my eyes, and moving to go, only he blocked my path, with his supernatural speed. I sighed and raised an eyebrow, what could he possibly want with me this time? His green eyes bared down at me and I stared back.  
I would never hurt you, ever. I saved you to keep you safe, you re my beta. What sense would that make? Scott told me how you foolishy saved him from the Alpha, you were hurt, He stepped forward, lifting my top up and I jumped back, shocked. He freaking pulled up my shirt, without my knowledge. I swallowed and glared at him.

How could I be so angry over the past? He grovelled, he apologized, and meant it. What more can I ask of him? Find me another family, give me some memories of my parents that I for some reason still can t remember. I came to him, with little knowing of who he was and he didn t push me away, he gave me a name and a place to stay. I move his hand away and wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face into his stomach, considering I saw half of him most of the time.

His big hands lightly touched my hair as he caressed me back, this time I didn t cry. I pinch his side and he yelps pulling on my hair and I whine, breaking away from him. It would be too weird if we continued to hug like this, people already suspected that we were in some kind of assessing relationship, that could never be described or watched. We were who we re best, when we are together.  
I want to add more people into our shared group

Why are you being weird about it? Call it a pack, it s what we are and generally what the internet calls us, in every dumb ass teen movie, involving a werewolf, I smooth the dress down, standing outside of the car, as we finished talking to my parents, Derek gave me some small details, but nothing to major about my parental figures. He was young himself, he was still determined to make sure that I knew who they were.

I appreciated his help and it was overall effective, we were actually talking and sometimes touching, okay the touching had always been there. It was more constant now and he didn t act as if he did nothing, which was both agonizing and wonderful.

Be a smart ass somewhere else, I m serious. We re a team and I need to know, if you are okay with bringing more people inside of it, Derek said over the wind and I thought about it, a couple more people Derek would ignore and risk his life for, no I saw in his face that he wanted more than just risking his life, he wanted to have a pack of his own. Where he was the Alpha and he could make the decisions.

Well, as long as you let me in what s in your head? Then, a few more people will be saved from losing theirs, I kiss his cheek and get inside the car, he stands there for a moment or four and goes inside too. 


	12. Chapter 12

There was some freaking shit going on, one of them being the fact that Lydia was missing. No one knew where she was and when I asked Derek, he didn t care, his main focus was creating a pack and that looked like a main goal for him. Such a main goal, that he couldn t wait till I got dressed, which wasn t fucking cool. I was his beta and he left me. Seriously. I hunched down and scan the area, Scott seems to being enjoying his time with Allison. Ah young love, I can hardly ever remember that and I bet someone somewhere was asking about Derek, no honey. Someone that leaves another person they care about, because of a dead set goal is not a great romantic pick.

I shoved my way through the woods, altering Victoria Argent. She paused and assessed me, probably already knowing that I was werewolf. They were good at that; those helpful Argents. I decided to help Scott out a little bit more, not to mention I also wanted to know if they somehow knew my parents and what was going with this town. It was fun conversation, she seemed to ignore me though.

Anyone close to a Hale by assoication is considered immediately harmful, I brace my hand on the door and smile politely at her. She leers harder and I remain steady.

I don t have time for Derek Hale s mate Hold on sister, I am nowhere near that asshole s mate. He didn t wait for me or make me breakfast. I get down on wolves, grr. But I once human I honestly didn t want to be like this, Victoria stepped forward when she heard that, a mother s softness, I had family, a mother and father and I don t remember what they look and who they were. I remember their laughter though, when I was born. Can you figure out something for me.

She says that she would somehow and shuts the door in my face, I step down and turn around to see Scott on the roof. Ah there he was. Moments later, Scott, Stiles, and Allison all clue me in. Lydia was being hunted by the Hunters and the cops, possibly for her bizarre behavior since that run in with Peter and I don t blame her, Derek told me about him and he creeps me out. Whatever, I told them to be safe and sniff around to find Derek, and there he was lifting some kid. I heard his name was Issac, hey a girl moves around fast.

When she s been abandoned, I run behind him and slap him upside the head, he growls and thinks twice about his next actions when he sees me and gives a slight shrug, Issac stares at me horrified and I wave. I was more human acting and looking then this ass. A couple of hours later, oh boy do I have some news for you and it ain t pretty.

Allison texted me that some Hunters and Chris found Scott, he did the father shovel talk thing and it was heartbreaking I m sure. Apparently Derek was considering Issac as one of our pack members and sure, he was pretty cute, I have no faults about it. And he was a scared kid, that probably could kill if he wanted to. He has that look about him. Meanwhile, Jackson disagreed to being in the pack and he was bleeding black fluid through his ear, I step back disturbed.

Your body is fighting the bite for unknown reasons, I could help you. We can help you, He adds when I clear my throat, he was not about to leave out to dry again. When Jackson disagreed, I frowned, but Derek seemed fine with it and left the locker room. I followed after him and grabbed his arm. Usually I got all the choices and actions he made, he had a reason.  
This. All of this. I don t know what he was doing this for and it bothered me. It really bothered me. I wanted to be supportive and not get in the way, if I can. But I can t be one of those things if he won t let me in, he promised. He never leaves me, considering our height difference. He made sure not to, but today was another story.

Derek, slow down. Can you trust me? I do trust, you don t think I trust you Not this new let s leave your beta behind Derek, no I don t trust him. Because he is not you. You ve always went on about wanting a pack and I agree, but don t charge ahead without including me. I will beat your ass for it, That broke his scowl, he smirked and brought me in for a tight hug and grabbed my hand as we walked to the next destination. Okay I ll admit, that was one heart moving and potential romantic interest, yet this guy has a long way to go.

We end up back in the woods, a wolf in hung dangling in a tree, his arms frailing. Poor thing. Derek tells Scott to stop, when he goes to help the kid and to be quiet. He wants him to watch what happens when a wolf is alone, when they have no leader. No one to save them. The older hunter slices the kid in two and I look away, thinking that could have been me. Had Derek not selfishly saved me the way he did, afterwards wants Scott to join his pack. Using that poor homeless kid as an example and I rolled my eyes, waiting near the tree. Never subtle.

Reason sixteen why I will never date Derek Hale. We head back home afterwards and I find a document on the table, I watch Derek retreat somewhere and read some lines of it. Letters written to me. There was some freaking shit going on, one of them being the fact that Lydia was missing. No one knew where she was and when I asked Derek, he didn t care, his main focus was creating a pack and that looked like a main goal for him. Such a main goal, that he couldn t wait till I got dressed, which wasn t fucking cool. I was his beta and he left me. Seriously. I hunched down and scan the area, Scott seems to being enjoying his time with Allison. Ah young love, I can hardly ever remember that and I bet someone somewhere was asking about Derek, no honey. Someone that leaves another person they care about, because of a dead set goal is not a great romantic pick.

I shoved my way through the woods, altering Victoria Argent. She paused and assessed me, probably already knowing that I was werewolf. They were good at that; those helpful Argents. I decided to help Scott out a little bit more, not to mention I also wanted to know if they somehow knew my parents and what was going with this town. It was fun conversation, she seemed to ignore me though.

Anyone close to a Hale by assoication is considered immediately harmful, I brace my hand on the door and smile politely at her. She leers harder and I remain steady.

I don t have time for Derek Hale s mate Hold on sister, I am nowhere near that asshole s mate. He didn t wait for me or make me breakfast. I get down on wolves, grr. But I once human I honestly didn t want to be like this, Victoria stepped forward when she heard that, a mother s softness, I had family, a mother and father and I don t remember what they look and who they were. I remember their laughter though, when I was born. Can you figure out something for me.

She says that she would somehow and shuts the door in my face, I step down and turn around to see Scott on the roof. Ah there he was. Moments later, Scott, Stiles, and Allison all clue me in. Lydia was being hunted by the Hunters and the cops, possibly for her bizarre behavior since that run in with Peter and I don t blame her, Derek told me about him and he creeps me out. Whatever, I told them to be safe and sniff around to find Derek, and there he was lifting some kid. I heard his name was Issac, hey a girl moves around fast.

When she s been abandoned, I run behind him and slap him upside the head, he growls and thinks twice about his next actions when he sees me and gives a slight shrug, Issac stares at me horrified and I wave. I was more human acting and looking then this ass. A couple of hours later, oh boy do I have some news for you and it ain t pretty.

Allison texted me that some Hunters and Chris found Scott, he did the father shovel talk thing and it was heartbreaking I m sure. Apparently Derek was considering Issac as one of our pack members and sure, he was pretty cute, I have no faults about it. And he was a scared kid, that probably could kill if he wanted to. He has that look about him. Meanwhile, Jackson disagreed to being in the pack and he was bleeding black fluid through his ear, I step back disturbed.

Your body is fighting the bite for unknown reasons, I could help you. We can help you, He adds when I clear my throat, he was not about to leave out to dry again. When Jackson disagreed, I frowned, but Derek seemed fine with it and left the locker room. I followed after him and grabbed his arm. Usually I got all the choices and actions he made, he had a reason.  
This. All of this. I don t know what he was doing this for and it bothered me. It really bothered me. I wanted to be supportive and not get in the way, if I can. But I can t be one of those things if he won t let me in, he promised. He never leaves me, considering our height difference. He made sure not to, but today was another story.

Derek, slow down. Can you trust me? I do trust, you don t think I trust you Not this new let s leave your beta behind Derek, no I don t trust him. Because he is not you. You ve always went on about wanting a pack and I agree, but don t charge ahead without including me. I will beat your ass for it, That broke his scowl, he smirked and brought me in for a tight hug and grabbed my hand as we walked to the next destination. Okay I ll admit, that was one heart moving and potential romantic interest, yet this guy has a long way to go.

We end up back in the woods, a wolf in hung dangling in a tree, his arms frailing. Poor thing. Derek tells Scott to stop, when he goes to help the kid and to be quiet. He wants him to watch what happens when a wolf is alone, when they have no leader. No one to save them. The older hunter slices the kid in two and I look away, thinking that could have been me. Had Derek not selfishly saved me the way he did, afterwards wants Scott to join his pack. Using that poor homeless kid as an example and I rolled my eyes, waiting near the tree. Never subtle.

Reason sixteen why I will never date Derek Hale. We head back home afterwards and I find a document on the table, I watch Derek retreat somewhere and read some lines of it. Letters written to me. 


	13. Chapter 13

I was on my last strand of nerve, Derek was getting on my nerves, I need a drink, or a guy. Preferably both but the way, the asshole was acting. I can not afford to leave him alone and he s not listening to his Beta, which hello is me? I mean I am a pretty good damn charge, er, friend when I want to be.

With the whole Jackson and Lydia drama going down, then the Hunters breathing down their necks. We were having some trouble staying under the radar...the letters my parents sent me before they died were thoughtful and reassuring. Meaning not helpful at all, but at least I have something personal now and not some organized folder of how they died and who they were.

I glance up to see that Erica chick, get in the passenger seat with Derek. He told her that he needed her to spy a little bit more and she looked very pleased, I scoffed and Derek glanced at me in the mirror. I narrow my eyes not caring if he thought I was being soft. An Alpha didn t have to make death threats, or use their charm to get what they wanted.

I saw it happen before. I crossed my arms and folded the paper.  
What s that?, I heard Erica ask me and I give her a sweetly smile and say with confidence, None of your freshly faced damn business, face front. My eyes glowed purple, meaning I meant it and that for her to mind her business, she really needed to mind it.

I had these girls that suddenly had confidence, some sob story about how she had issues and I know she does. But everyone does and it doesn t make her less beautiful than she was before, when didn t...I suddenly hear my own thoughts and it sounds like I am jealous nope.

Another thing that annoys me, Scott. Yes I know, Derek doesn t make it any better. Please never provoke an Alpha, especially one that I have to deal with on a daily basis, Derek had the two new vamps. Erika and Isaac take on Scott, to say I was annoyed was an understatement.

Stiles gave me a look that said, if I should jump in or not and I really didn t want to, but that looks like what was going down. I shove Derek off of Scott and bends down beside Scott, checking to see if he was okay and when he was, confronted Derek.

We talked about this, he s in your way and I get it. You finally got the pack you ve been wanting and that s fine, but your about to lose me. Get your head on straight, you made your point, I said glaring up at him and defending Scott, he was a kid that just wanted to make things right and maybe this was not the best of times to do.

Derek peered down at me and left, helping his pack off the floor. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and this was another bonus reason, why Derek and I will never be. I promise that this will not be the end of his dumbass decision making, when he s not around me. The good influence. 


	14. Chapter 14

I hate to admit it, but when Stiles comes up with a theory, he's pretty right. I borrowed one of his shirts to wear, after he who shall not be named, had pissed me off to the point of possible no return. I showed Stiles the pictures of my parents and he peered through the picture. He was staring at the factory that they worked, it looked to have been shut down. Why? That was an answer, I wanted to know, but boy wonder didn't want to answer.

"Your wearing my shirt, I do hope you know that?," Was that a snippy comment from boy wonder after I saved his friend, more than once? Oh, he does know I am a werewolf too, right? Unlike the one person I prefer not to talk to or be around at the moment, he should be glad that I was hear to begin with. The person that resides over this school even bought the whole, district observer thing.

Course I had to flirt with him, which is never exciting, but what can I do? I lean towards Stiles, hand on his forearm and with a pretty smile that could slay dragons.

"My my, never pegged you for the obvious type, Scott still has no talent for wardrobe. Now report, now," I command and he complied, with an eye roll.

"Fine, I found out from my research, that the kanima, is some sort of werejaguar, that came from South America. I think its going after murders," Well that makes my helping them so much easier, he who shall not be named, would be the first of the victims to be killed then. Considering what a total ass he's been in the span of time.

Then in some Coach's class, I think his name was Finstock, hilarious I know. I eye Jackson as he comes closer to Scott and Stiles, telling them about what he overheard with Derek, shit, lackys. Something about how Lydia might be the kanima, which was wrong, because it was pure evil and from what I know. Meeting Peter Hale, goes so far more being evil. Delirious over deciding if killing or having sex with him is a safe bet, yeah well. Never said I was sane.

After all that hub bub, I join Scott and Allison as an observer of course, hearing Erica. Threaten Allison, who I pretty much like, I step towards the table and my claws appear on the table. Giving a cherry smile, even though my eyes are light blue. Indicating that I was his beta and if she hurt anyone I care about. That it was bye bye blonde.

"I suggest you take your prissy little fingers off of her. Or well have a different kind of study group and I am sure you won't like my method of teaching," I said with a icy tone, clear and tempered, that after a minute she stopped what she was doing.

And just my luck, when sweet Lydia eats the candy with the venom, she's the freaking kanima. I step outside, trying to think of a plan of my own, if these kiddies really end up pissing off that asshole. He was not great company, when pissed. But I am no better.

Scott comes passed me and I decide to follow him and yes I'll say his name now, Derek was probably who he was looking for. Instead we find Boyd, I back up to not get into the fight with the boys. If I have to of course. The bigger kid gets knocked down and a wild Derek appears, behind me. I spun around and glare at him, he notes my wardrobe and ignores it, to speak to Scott.

"We can save Lydia, you don't have to kill her. She may not be the kanima"

"We can't risk that Scott. Every Alpha bite is different, it changes you. To who you are meant to be or who you are afraid to be, but don't worry I have Isaac and Erica handling it"

"How-" when Scott tries to rush to save her, Boyd knocks him on his ass, I hold back a whoa and simply take in the situation. I go to Scott's side and helps him up.

"I saw it Derek, she's immune. However she got into crazy town, it has nothing to do with the kanima. Think of Jackson, remember?," I tried to press him, so he could rethink taking another life from me, I mean I don't really care for Lydia, but she's good people you know? Yeah I know you know.

He shakes his head not believing me, me. Over what I freaking saw, damn asshole. Then Scott passes on to Lydia's ex, that she's immune to the venom. Which makes no sense, considering they aren't that close and he rarely talks like he cares about her.

Later on, I look through the window, to find out that Derek's friend group is waiting outside for them. Which is just wonderful, I lace up my boots and stop. Even as a beta, I can't take them on. I come with Allison to help with the fight and lock the door.

A wild barbie appears, Erica tells Allison that she'll take Scott away and I have my prayers answered when the annoying bitch is paralyzed. God yes. Does it feel goes not to hear her speak.

All along, jock boy on a temper tantrum, Jackson is the kanima. Was I right? Hell yes, was Derek wrong? Hell yes. I love being the one on the victory side and well I wasn't good with the police, so I left the house and went to a station and called on a pay phone. I had to know why that factory was still shut down, when my parents worked there. Wasn't that a safety hadard? Did they know what was going on there?

I swallowed, hearing more ringing and sharply smashing the glass and pointing a piece at Derek's neck, he raises an eyebrow and slaps the glass away. I back into a corner, I don't wanna talk to you, go away. Really. I have plans to handle.

"What are you doing?"

"I can ask you the same thing"

"You told me, that you were okay with a pack. Now we have one? I messed up with the kanima, so what"

"You left your beta in the cold and abandoned me, after you promised you wouldn't Derek. I am not some casual trip, this is my business and until you handle yours, we have none," I angrily tell him, grabbing the paper and storming out, how dare he be casual.

There was no sides to chose when it came to each other.I hate to admit it, but when Stiles comes up with a theory, he's pretty right. I borrowed one of his shirts to wear, after he who shall not be named, had pissed me off to the point of possible no return. I showed Stiles the pictures of my parents and he peered through the picture. He was staring at the factory that they worked, it looked to have been shut down. Why? That was an answer, I wanted to know, but boy wonder didn't want to answer.

"Your wearing my shirt, I do hope you know that?," Was that a snippy comment from boy wonder after I saved his friend, more than once? Oh, he does know I am a werewolf too, right? Unlike the one person I prefer not to talk to or be around at the moment, he should be glad that I was hear to begin with. The person that resides over this school even bought the whole, district observer thing.

Course I had to flirt with him, which is never exciting, but what can I do? I lean towards Stiles, hand on his forearm and with a pretty smile that could slay dragons.

"My my, never pegged you for the obvious type, Scott still has no talent for wardrobe. Now report, now," I command and he complied, with an eye roll.

"Fine, I found out from my research, that the kanima, is some sort of werejaguar, that came from South America. I think its going after murders," Well that makes my helping them so much easier, he who shall not be named, would be the first of the victims to be killed then. Considering what a total ass he's been in the span of time.

Then in some Coach's class, I think his name was Finstock, hilarious I know. I eye Jackson as he comes closer to Scott and Stiles, telling them about what he overheard with Derek, shit, lackys. Something about how Lydia might be the kanima, which was wrong, because it was pure evil and from what I know. Meeting Peter Hale, goes so far more being evil. Delirious over deciding if killing or having sex with him is a safe bet, yeah well. Never said I was sane.

After all that hub bub, I join Scott and Allison as an observer of course, hearing Erica. Threaten Allison, who I pretty much like, I step towards the table and my claws appear on the table. Giving a cherry smile, even though my eyes are light blue. Indicating that I was his beta and if she hurt anyone I care about. That it was bye bye blonde.

"I suggest you take your prissy little fingers off of her. Or well have a different kind of study group and I am sure you won't like my method of teaching," I said with a icy tone, clear and tempered, that after a minute she stopped what she was doing.

And just my luck, when sweet Lydia eats the candy with the venom, she's the freaking kanima. I step outside, trying to think of a plan of my own, if these kiddies really end up pissing off that asshole. He was not great company, when pissed. But I am no better.

Scott comes passed me and I decide to follow him and yes I'll say his name now, Derek was probably who he was looking for. Instead we find Boyd, I back up to not get into the fight with the boys. If I have to of course. The bigger kid gets knocked down and a wild Derek appears, behind me. I spun around and glare at him, he notes my wardrobe and ignores it, to speak to Scott.

"We can save Lydia, you don't have to kill her. She may not be the kanima"

"We can't risk that Scott. Every Alpha bite is different, it changes you. To who you are meant to be or who you are afraid to be, but don't worry I have Isaac and Erica handling it"

"How-" when Scott tries to rush to save her, Boyd knocks him on his ass, I hold back a whoa and simply take in the situation. I go to Scott's side and helps him up.

"I saw it Derek, she's immune. However she got into crazy town, it has nothing to do with the kanima. Think of Jackson, remember?," I tried to press him, so he could rethink taking another life from me, I mean I don't really care for Lydia, but she's good people you know? Yeah I know you know.

He shakes his head not believing me, me. Over what I freaking saw, damn asshole. Then Scott passes on to Lydia's ex, that she's immune to the venom. Which makes no sense, considering they aren't that close and he rarely talks like he cares about her.

Later on, I look through the window, to find out that Derek's friend group is waiting outside for them. Which is just wonderful, I lace up my boots and stop. Even as a beta, I can't take them on. I come with Allison to help with the fight and lock the door.

A wild barbie appears, Erica tells Allison that she'll take Scott away and I have my prayers answered when the annoying bitch is paralyzed. God yes. Does it feel goes not to hear her speak.

All along, jock boy on a temper tantrum, Jackson is the kanima. Was I right? Hell yes, was Derek wrong? Hell yes. I love being the one on the victory side and well I wasn't good with the police, so I left the house and went to a station and called on a pay phone. I had to know why that factory was still shut down, when my parents worked there. Wasn't that a safety hadard? Did they know what was going on there?

I swallowed, hearing more ringing and sharply smashing the glass and pointing a piece at Derek's neck, he raises an eyebrow and slaps the glass away. I back into a corner, I don't wanna talk to you, go away. Really. I have plans to handle.

"What are you doing?"

"I can ask you the same thing"

"You told me, that you were okay with a pack. Now we have one? I messed up with the kanima, so what"

"You left your beta in the cold and abandoned me, after you promised you wouldn't Derek. I am not some casual trip, this is my business and until you handle yours, we have none," I angrily tell him, grabbing the paper and storming out, how dare he be casual.

There was no sides to chose when it came to each other.


	15. Chapter 15

Anytime I consider getting a little peace for myself, the bastard still won't leave me alone. I spit the toothpaste out and rinse and walk down the steps. Scott's Mom approached me and I raised an eyebrow, granted I stayed here for a while and she was nice enough to let me stay, I hope she doesn't think there is anything romantic wise going on.

I can't handle a frantic mother. I am a bad influence and this would not know how to handle me. Instead she walked passed me and I rushed out of the house, to Stiles ugly as truck and got inside of the back.

We talked over how it was possible that Jackson was the kanima and whatever was going on with Lydia, because I am sure with how weird she's been acting. There was something going on with Lydia, whether it be Peter or herself. The Hale are notorious for being a problem for anyone they meet.

Especially Derek.

Scott was somewhere helping Derek, although he had Boyd knock him flat on his ass and still wants to defend the bastard. The gang and I go somewhere I haven't been since I was teenager, its a shiny utopia. Where no guy can hit on me and if I talk sweet enough. They'll give me free drinks.

Yup a gay bar.

I sat down and allow the kiddies to do their hunting, the bartender checks her ID and hands her vodka, she smiles in thanks. It pays to be twenty two. She sips her drink and sighs.

"Defeated, huh?"

"More like forlonged. There's this situation"

"Wait a second darling, a situation implies that it can't be fixed. A cute girl like you? He'll see reason soon enough." As I talked with the bartender, he gave me a lot of unwanted advice about my relationship with Derek.

As the day continued, I sat in Scott's room on my stomach and read through letters of family. Going through a weird family tree.


End file.
